What’s The Worst Place A Ghost Can Haunt?

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Long car drives are both a blessing and a curse. You need to give most of your concentration to the road to you know not die, but even potential death can be boring at times. Staring straight ahead while sometimes cursing at Toyota Camry going just under the speed limit- I’m getting bored just thinking about it.

The one positive you start to think about weird stuff. Like all the rules that go into ghosts. Depending on what logic we follow, being a ghost has plenty of ups and downs that may deter people from sticking around after death.  Are we going with standard cartoon logic where ghosts can freely move and do whatever the hell they want? They kinda just keep doing what they were doing in life,  occasionally befriending some person alive. That would be one of the worst ways to go out I think. Stuck in the era’s clothes and dialect while the world goes on. They don’t really have a purpose, they’re just ghosts that appear around Halloween and help the main character with some Halloween problem that is strangely paranormal. They can phase through walls and that’s about it. That is Hell in itself right there. Then again, ghosts in those can usually still move stuff and most people can interact with them so it would be like I never died. Then again that would mean I’d still have to socialize. I would hate to be a ghost in an old Saturday morning cartoon.

Or maybe you’ll be one of the more mature ghost movies that haunt shit that they feel like. A grandfather’s clock or something that you saw as you were dying. You know these movies where ghosts don’t look like they’re people with sheets over their heads. It would be cool to haunt a computer for a while and open a bunch of horrible porn and when I’m board I can just surf the web. It would be like me being alive except I wouldn’t need to eat or poop. Pretty dope- well as long as I pick something cool to haunt. Some haunted movies just make you haunt the place you died in, which is a serious risk. Great if you die in a school or something. You can fuck around with the freshman or spook some kids who snuck in to the school late at night. If you’re feeling lazy you could just listen in on the gossip. Hospitals, schools, populated places that aren’t always busy would be ideal, but imagine dying on a sidewalk. No roof over your invisible head and not much to do except look at the occasional cool car drive by. That’d be horrible. Plus you’d really have to spook the few people who walk by, and cyclists would be way too fast to spook. I take it back, haunting rules would be too much of a gamble. If you get a hospital great, but sidewalk ghosts probably can’t wait to kill themselves again.

Then there’s the religious angle, where your stuck in Purgatory or something similar. Regardless of the specific religion, ghosts in general just stick around either to serve some sort of light divine punishment or tie up any loose ends. When I’m about to die there’s no question I’ll remember something important I forgot to do before the whole dying stuff turned up. Oh crap I forgot to feed my cat. Welp guess I’ll see Alfred Whiskers in the next life. Or maybe I got murdered and I have to help some girl help solve my own death. One last screw you before I ascend (or descend). Purgatory as a punishment would suck. Just see how the world progresses without you. A year or two wouldn’t be bad, but after a couple 100 years I might get bored of watching other people play video games or whatever. If there was a lesson I was supposed to be learning I would assuredly not learn it until Jesus himself told me.

If I had to choose I guess I’d go with the lesson one and I’d try to speed-run it. What kind of ghost would you want to be? I also know there’s plenty more types of ghosts, but I’ll get to those later I guess.

 

 

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